


Just Breathe

by JJ1564



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Community: evilsam_spn, Drugged Dean, Drugged Sam, Evil Sam Winchester, International Fanworks Day 2015, M/M, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 05:39:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3345590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJ1564/pseuds/JJ1564
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam wants Dean to keep breathing and to stay with him just a little while longer…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Evil!Sam Roulette and the prompt song is "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam. This is the darkest fic I've ever written, with drugged!Dean, non-con, character death, somnophilia and character suicide. No happy ending!
> 
> Disclaimer - I don’t own Sam and Dean, or the amazing lyrics that fueled this fic! Song written by S Bentley, M Lamar, D Lawrence. 
> 
> Thanks to somersault_j for the beta and for encouraging me to post this very dark fic!

"Stay with me, uh-huh  
Let's just breathe"

\- Pearl Jam, Just Breathe

Sam climbed onto the bed and straddled Dean’s limp body. Dean blinked his heavy eyes, trying to focus on Sam, and even in the dim light of the bedroom Sam could see those vivid green eyes, the ones he had loved to gaze into for as long as he could remember.

“S’mm…” Dean slurred, trying to fight against the effects of the drugs Sam had pumped into his veins.

“Shush, don’t speak. Save your strength, Dean. Stay with me…let's just breathe.” Sam lay down with his head on Dean’s wide shoulder and his hand on Dean’s chest. “That’s it, just breathe, in, out. I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

Dean was still breathing steadily, his heart was thumping under Sam’s fingertips, but Sam knew they didn’t have long. He rolled off of Dean with a sigh and propped himself up on his elbow to look down at his brother. He ran his fingertips lightly over Dean’s chest, making his body shiver at the touch.

“I only have one regret, Dean,” Sam whispered, “I should have told you every day how much I needed you, how much I wanted you, how much I loved you. We wasted so much time.”

He bent down and kissed Dean’s soft pink lips, loving the way Dean tried to pull away. Sam picked up the syringe and Dean’s eyes widened in terror and realization.

“Nuh!” Dean gasped, raising his hands weakly to try to grab it, still trying to save Sam. Still trying to be Sam’s protector, his savior.

“It’s okay, Dean, we both know every life must end,” Sam said calmly, “ours should have ended long ago. Perhaps you should have died from that electrocution all those years ago, when I hauled you to that bogus faith healer. Or when we were in the car crash; perhaps Dad should have lived, not you.”

Dean was weeping now and Sam brushed his tears away with his fingertips. “And me, well, you know the biggest mistake you ever did was to make that deal and bring me back to life. Nothing good ever came from it.” Sam plunged the syringe into his own arm and smiled serenely. He didn’t feel anything yet, except the sting of the needle, but he had given himself a large dose and knew he would soon be as close to death as his brother was.

“S’m, no, you…” Dean tried to say more but he was fighting a losing battle against his drugged body.

“Just breathe, Dean, stay with me,” Sam stroked Dean’s hair, “just for a little longer.”

Sam bent lower and kissed Dean’s tear-stained face. “You tried to save me, Dean, I know you did. You gave everything, but it was a losing battle.”

Sam moved up again and looked at Dean’s body. His neck and chest were littered in bruises and bite-marks, all the marks of Sam’s love for him. He knew if he looked further down he would see more bites, more bruises, along with knife wounds across Dean’s stomach and down his thighs. Dean’s blood was delicious; Sam had so enjoyed cutting into his flesh and lapping up the blood.

Sam traced his fingertips over the marks on Dean’s skin, and then rubbed Dean’s nipples with his thumbs. Dean’s body twitched in response and his eyes widened slightly. Sam leaned down and kissed Dean’s lips, loving the gasps Dean could no longer hide. Sam moved his hands lower, across Dean’s flat stomach and then to his limp dick.

“Tsk, this won’t do, Dean, this is going to be our last time, so I expect a bit more enthusiasm.” Sam grasped Dean’s dick and ran his hand over it, getting annoyed that Dean wasn’t responding. Dean’s breathing was heavy and he was deathly pale. Sam stopped with a sigh and slapped Dean’s face hard, making him gasp and his eyes widen in shock.

“Stay with me, Dean. Let’s just breathe…” He stroked Dean’s chest tenderly, watched as Dean’s chest heaved, knowing each breath was getting harder to achieve. “I love you so much. We’re going to go out together Dean, joined, as one. You told me once this life ends bloody or sad. I don’t want that to be our ending. This is our ending, dying in the arms of the one we love.” He sighed and brushed away Dean’s fresh tears. “You do love me, don’t you?” Sam asked, staring into his brother’s red-rimmed eyes. Dean nodded and tried to speak again.

“Don’t…don’t…Sammy…” he begged but whatever he wanted, whether it was to save his own life or Sam’s, it was too late. They were miles from the nearest town and no one knew where they were. Sam estimated they had around thirty minutes at the most and he wanted to die in Dean’s arms, joined.

“It’s okay, Dean, don’t cry and don’t be sad. We’re going to be together, forever. No more hunting, no more sadness, no more death.” Sam started to kiss a line down Dean’s chest that ended with him kissing and sucking at Dean’s still limp dick. It took several minutes to get Dean interested and as soon as he was almost hard, Sam stopped and pushed his legs back to lick his pretty hole. Dean’s drained body trembled and his breathing became erratic.

“Please, Dean, just stay with me, just a little longer,” Sam pleaded, looking down at his brother.

Sam was starting to feel weak himself now, but he had to do this; he had to make them one. He stroked his half-hard dick to fullness as he fingered Dean open, and then thrust inside his brother. Dean was so out of it that he barely gasped and his body remained almost lifeless. Sam stroked Dean’s dick and tried hard to get him to come but it was too late. Dean’s breathing was so shallow now and he could no longer keep his eyes open.

Sam slapped his face and his eyes fluttered a little. Sam needed to see them one last time, so he twisted Dean’s balls and his eyes flew open, shocked and hurt.

“S’rry, Dean, need t’see you one more time…” Sam slurred and smiled down at Dean. “You’re so fucking beau-beautiful, love ya s’much…” Sam bent down and kissed Dean’s forehead, then each cheek and finally his lips.

There was no response. Sam sighed and thrust into the lax body until he came, but he didn’t pull out. He rolled over so he was face to face with Dean, still inside him and stroked his brother’s face. Dean looked peaceful now, at rest. Sam checked for a pulse and wasn’t surprised to find there was none. However, he was surprised at the wave of grief that hit him at that moment. He didn’t understand his reaction; he had planned this, down to the last detail. He had wanted them to die in each other’s arms.  
But he should have died in Dean’s arms, not this way around. Sam pulled Dean’s arm over his shoulder and imagined warmth coming through. He wrapped Dean in his embrace.

“Hold me till I die, Dean,” he whispered, then kissed Dean’s forehead one last time, “I’ll meet you on the other side.”


End file.
